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The goo, the goo, I did not know about the goo! Ahhhh! Just when I thought the evil appendages couldn’t get any worse.

It appears these horns are a burden for you to brunt once again. (think Frodo and the ring). I was both blown away, (forgive my derogatory choice of words, completely unintentional I assure you) and just laughing at this phenomena, your phenomena, almost paranormal phenomena! Just when I had just got through saying that you had had your fair share of the “cosmic joke” at the end of last year, this happens. It is like the movie “Poltergeist” where the house was built on top of a cemetery, it seems yours is positioned above a giant unmentionable, or perhaps I should say a whole bunch of purple unmentionables.

Great photographs of the “old chaps” though, and you won’t want to insure those “family jewels”. Fnar fnar.

It is an evil cosmic joke I tell you. Brrrrrrrrrrr.

ESP.

Carri, that 5th picture is DEFINITELY the WORST. You should have seen my face when I went out and saw it had – erected itself on my tile table! YUK and YUKKER! But of course, I let the whole thing play out. In the interest of investigation. And an adolescent’s fascination with the grosser things in life!

Joseph, you are tempting the GODS! If I were to throw down with the stinkhorns on camera, it may well be a clash of the titans. I can NOT have them overtaking my garden. I MUST take a stand, and if it is televised, well, so much the better! Even if I get dragged down to hell by a phallic mushroom, (maybe especially if I do!) the battle will be a wonder to watch!

Oh Tendril, right here right now I am sending a puff of a wish out to the universe, making sure that stinkhorns stay far away from you! If I must be plagued so that you be saved, I’ll take that fall I’ll be that martyr. There must be SOME reason I am so vexed! Since I already have so many, I’ll harbor any stinkhorn that has the thought of going your way. I’m getting used to their offensiveness! No reason you have to go through it, too! XO!

The volva DO look like testicles, Summer, which was why I was so thrown by the name! Why turn the mushroom into a hermaphrodit? Isn’t it hard enough being a horribly stinky phallic mushroom – now it is also a member of the intersexed community. And I had no idea that testicles are orchids in latin. That’s messed up. This is getting more x-rated as we progress! Thanks for the info! More Hortsmut to sift through!

Leave it to you, Sweet One, to make the fact that I have phallic shrooms stalking me a comment on my state of sexy. You always bring the sunshine! XOXO!

Stephanie ‘reno’! If only your Mama knew! In olden times, the ‘volva’ would be burned as soon as they were detected, lest the ‘member’ erect – I mean erupt (you started it!) and ruin the young maidens by making them go wild with desire. REALLY? Those olden times were whack! These fungal protrusions make me want to BARF!

Chuck B! You are the ONLY happy commenter! My brain SCREECHED to a halt! But of COURSE it is wonderful fun to blog about, so I accept your congrats … and I’m going to sprinkle a few spores in your direction when I’m in San Francisco for the Garden Show!

Dearest Willi! HAHAHA! The Borat of mushrooms – YES! Inappropriate, but sincere. Sincerely AWFUL! EEEeeeeewwww!

Jane they are impossible to destroy, because the spores are tiny and mixed into the goo that slimes the top of the mushroom! Within seconds the flies are swarming, and the spores stick to their feet and that’s all she wrote – the promulgation of horrid fungus to the rest of Eagle Rock. We may become the stinkhorn capitol of California!

Yes, Jenn, it’s true – but I still urge parents of the young fans of The Germinatrix (Lily- that means you – cover your eyes!) to make sure their children are well prepared for the graphic nature of this post. Or wait to show them the next post, which will be about aloe blooms. Nice and rated G. Well, okay, PG -13!
Hmmm… I SHOULD look into the medicinal properties of the fungus. You KNOW it’ll be a cure for impotence! let’s save the rhinos! Stinkhorn powder = vegan viagra!